How to Celebrate Valentine’s Day in a New Relationship

6 Mins read

Valentine’s day is one of those holidays that can be a beautiful evening with your loved one or a nervous rush with a brand new person you are romantically interested in. We can’t choose when these holidays will align with our social life. So, with this said, there is the problem of being in a brand new relationship with someone, and Valentine’s day is right around the corner. “What do I do?” Let’s go over the most important things when it comes to celebrating this holiday.

Make Arrangements Together Beforehand

Even long-standing relationships have trouble sometimes figuring out what the other person is thinking about, let alone brand-new ones. You are just getting to know each other, so it can be a coin-flip whether you are both into the same type of romantic holiday extravaganza. About a week before Valentine’s day, mention the date out of the blue. Make it as casual as possible. Start discussing how you were thinking of spending it together (preferably mention any solid plans you were thinking about). If you get the “OK” sign from your partner, you can start planning for it!

We know, this might seem a bit underwhelming. Hollywood has built up Valentine’s day as this huge thing where you will take your partner to Paris for a romantic getaway or hire an entire marching band to proclaim your love for your girl. No… This is entirely unreasonable and most people know this. You still need to get to know each other to know what you like. This is why Valentine’s day early in your relationship should be talked about. If the relationship really hits it off, you can start thinking about big surprises later down the line. This is all the more important when you take into consideration that some people will go crazy over it while others even dislike it for its plastic love hype and commercialism implications. Hell, studies have shown that Valentine’s day is by far the heaviest commercialized holiday in the world, where people spend, on average, $19.7 billion on gifts! So, save both of you some time and potentially awkward situations and just talk about it.

Be Modest, But Not Too Modest With Your Plans

As we have previously mentioned, you want to avoid anything extravagant if you are a new couple (or even unsure of your relationship). This is where the question pops up: “What to buy for Valentine’s day?” Believe it or not, a dinner-at-home option is entirely viable. It doesn’t mean anything too formal, and it can still make for an excellent evening that you are spending together with your partner. Not to mention, you are also saving yourself the hassle of making reservations for one of the busiest nights of the year. This also has the added benefit of not forcing yourself to be way more lovey-dovey outside than you usually would because you are surrounded by much more serious couples.

Hell, this can be one of the worst feelings you can have when you are early in a relationship. Surrounding yourself with these types of people can be such a chore at best. At worst, it can ruin the entire evening. So, the best way of avoiding all of this is by spending a lovely evening at home with your partner. Without any pressure, free from judging eyes, you can make a nice meal (or order in, if you aren’t a great chef), watch a movie together or play some board games, to each their own, what matters is that you are having fun without artificially bloating up the whole ordeal.

Do Your Own Thing With Your Partner

The best thing you get when it comes to a new relationship is that it’s a blank slate! This means you can make a thing out of absolutely anything, as well as make your way of seeing things with your partner. You can make Valentine’s day a big thing or a non-existent thing, it’s all up to you! The one certain thing is that you have absolute creative liberty. You can choose this day to be movie night with your partner, you can make it a tradition to go to a certain restaurant, or even make ordering sushi the way to spend this day. Just remember, restaurants will be jacking up their prices to the extreme on this day. So, do your research about the place you will be spending it in.

Don’t Get an Extravagant Gift in an Early Relationship

If you are choosing to go for the more romantic route, opt for buying a small and symbolic gift. We advise you not to go overboard on Valentine’s day gifts if you are in the early phase of the relationship. Some couples really like to express their love by spending a ton of money on luxurious accessories such as jewelry, earrings, and vacation tickets. This should not be treated as the norm. The gift needs to match the intimacy level that a relationship is in to create a strong foundation and keep building upon it. Generally, you should try and determine the level you are presently in. Not getting a gift overall could hurt the other person’s feelings, while spending a ton of money for a golden ring while they bought you chocolate could lead to the atmosphere becoming awkward really fast. A good gift can be a really hard thing to determine. Some people are just easier to please than others. Odds are, if you are dating for a couple of weeks, you should not be looking into any gifts that exceed $10. If you are together for several months you can start looking for books by authors they love, and such personal items that show that you are a good listener, and more importantly, that you care.

Do Not Compare Your Day to the Day of Others, More Serious Couples’

Think of a terrifying prospect. After you have spent the evening together for Valentine’s day, the next day your partner will start feeling dissatisfied with how you spent your time together because another couple spent their evening at an expensive restaurant. This is the highway to ruining a relationship from the foundation. Every couple is unique and plays by its own rules. You should resist the urge of asking your partner for something else just because another couple did it. You are meant to create your own tradition, not copy others. Odds are, they are seeing each other for years, while you two are going out for months or weeks. Just take it slow and the relationship will take its own direction. Perhaps your partner likes to spend more on Christmas? Perhaps they will give you the most attention on your birthday. Take your time to figure out what kind of a person your partner is and how you two fit together when it comes to celebrating holidays. This way, if you ignore other couples, you can focus on your feelings and your relationship.

Remember to Stay Kind

Sometimes we can get lost in the cash spending and forget about the basics – being kind to those closest to you. Don’t show the other person that you care for them by buying them an expensive accessory or by taking them to a restaurant. Instead, be kind to them, and show them that you care about your feelings and your behavior. The thought is truly the thing that counts the most. This is all the more important in a fresh relationship, where your early behavior will define the relationship as a whole. So, just stay kind.

And Finally… Just Don’t Overthink it

At this point, you have noticed a pattern. It might seem cliché, but it really is what we talked about. Don’t get caught up in the luxury and consumerism of the holiday. Every couple is different. Don’t feel pressured by anything to approach Valentine’s day in a specific way. You don’t need to be the main thing every couple in town is talking about. You just have to find your rhythm and play by it. Simple as that. Chances are, if you are dating the right person, they will also understand your specific feelings about the holiday and won’t force their beliefs on you. That way, you truly know that the relationship is heading toward something beautiful.

That would be it for today, not so scary now, isn’t it? Hopefully, after reading this article, you have gotten a better feel of the situation and how you should approach the inevitable Valentine’s day preparations. We wish you the best of luck and happy holidays.

About author
The author, Dr. David K Simson is a trained radiation oncologist specializing in advanced radiation techniques such as intensity-modulated radiotherapy (IMRT), image-guided radiotherapy (IGRT), volumetric modulated arc therapy (VMAT) / Rapid Arc, stereotactic body radiotherapy (SBRT), stereotactic radiotherapy (SRT), stereotactic radiosurgery (SRS). He is also experienced in interstitial, intracavitary, and intraluminal brachytherapy.